i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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