More tranny stories later!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
