I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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