Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
