You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
