Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
