sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
