I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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