Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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