rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
