I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
