I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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