we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
