omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
