she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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