He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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