oh fat girl friday strikes again...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
