I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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