Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
false alarm. still invincible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
