Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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