Say something about gay babies.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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