Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The air taste purple.
Randomize
