do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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