i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
accomplished twins. life is a go
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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