peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
