One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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