So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
