thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
