Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Girls should come with a carfax report
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize