how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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