So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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