jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
