i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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