i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
