I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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