you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
