i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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