so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
