he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
