I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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