you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize