Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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