You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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