Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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