Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
