I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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