I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
