he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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