I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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