he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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