Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
