Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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