I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
