I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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