Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
