Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
