found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
