Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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