i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
